I delight in the beauty, the simplicity of sunsets. Ever since my days of youth at the lake house in Minnesota, I have celebrated the intricacies of nature's design in the setting of the sun, signaling an end of day, the beginning of night, the hope for tomorrow.
Seek him who made the Pleiades and Orion, and turns deep
darkness into the morning, and darkens the day into night; who calls for
the waters of the sea and pours them out upon the surface of the earth:
The Lord is his name. Amos 5:8
The salvific work of Christ has borne light out of the darkness of sinfulness so that man may dwell in His presence. And yet, in the darkness, in the midst of depravity, suffering, wandering, and doubt, the Lord has discipled.
The act of succumbing to sleep is among the most humble acts of surrender. And it is done daily. A loss of conscious control, a quieting of the mind, heart, and body. Yet, during nightfall, in this darkness, the soul awakens.
I will bless the Lord who gives me counsel; my heart teaches me,
night after night. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is
at my right hand, I shall not fall. Psalm 16:7-8
I must daily be willing to sleep, to rest, in the Lord amidst the darkness. For if I shall fail to do so, my restless soul will struggle to survive as I am assailed on all sides. In fact, when I am plagued in darkness, I shall actively seek submission in His rest.
C.S. Lewis offers this: I answer that suffering is not good in itself. What is good in any painful experience is, for the sufferer, his submission to the will of God, and, for the spectators, the compassion aroused and the acts of mercy to which it leads. The Problem of Pain
And so, the setting of the sun, the darkness of tribulations, the bleakness of the unknown, shall not overcome me as I choose to rest, finding joy in submission with my pained, tired body. Shall I not remember that this too shall pass; that the holy, gracious light of the Lord will arise just as surely as the sun shall rise in the morn?
O gracious light,
pure brightness of the everliving Father in heaven,
O Jesus Christ, holy and blessed!
Now as we come to the setting of the sun,
and our eyes behold the vesper light,
we sing your praises, O God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
You are worthy at all times to be praised by happy voices,
O Son of God, O Giver of Life,
and to be glorified through all the worlds.
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit:
as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.
The Book of Common Prayer of The Episcopal Church
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
A Life of Death
Growing up seems paradoxical. It is a thought that has plagued me for some time. A fuller knowledge of life leads to a fuller knowledge of death. Logically, to know light is to know darkness; to know fulfillment is to know hunger; to know joy is to know sorrow.
To know life is to know death. To live, is to die.
The psalmist writes, "yet for your sake we are killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." The apostle Paul proclaims, "I die every day."
This is not unique to my circumstances; as we live more, we experience more death, physically and spiritually.
Christian community is built upon death. Death to selfishness and isolationism. Death to sinfulness and control. As we share life in community, we also share death. Gracefully though, our joy is not rooted in death, but in life through death. "Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him."
As we live more fully in Christian community, we experience more death. As we age, we are more keenly aware of physical death through the deaths of friends and acquaintances. But greater still, we daily direct our eyes toward graceful salvation from what is broken, sinful, and burdened - dying to ourselves - that we may gain Christ and the life that He brings.
And this brings me great joy for to share life together is to share death together, which shall bring life.
To know life is to know death. To live, is to die.
The psalmist writes, "yet for your sake we are killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." The apostle Paul proclaims, "I die every day."
This is not unique to my circumstances; as we live more, we experience more death, physically and spiritually.
Christian community is built upon death. Death to selfishness and isolationism. Death to sinfulness and control. As we share life in community, we also share death. Gracefully though, our joy is not rooted in death, but in life through death. "Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him."
As we live more fully in Christian community, we experience more death. As we age, we are more keenly aware of physical death through the deaths of friends and acquaintances. But greater still, we daily direct our eyes toward graceful salvation from what is broken, sinful, and burdened - dying to ourselves - that we may gain Christ and the life that He brings.
And this brings me great joy for to share life together is to share death together, which shall bring life.
Friday, October 5, 2012
(Vulnerable) Social Media
No explanation is necessary regarding the definition and prevalence of, or dependability on social media. Twitter, Facebook, Blogger, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, MySpace, Google + all have a place for use and may even be a mechanism for good.
My qualm is not with social media, although thorough discussion regarding reliance is valuable, but those who use it. Actually, I am fearful of Christians who use social media. Indeed, I fear myself even now.
For some reason, social media engenders a willingness to portray thoughts, ideas, emotions, sarcasm, and beliefs, whether well-established or not, that one is not necessarily willing to express through non-social media means. In other words, transparency in 'real-life' and transparency through social media are not aligned.
As one who greatly values discipleship and community, this is deeply troubling. I learn far too much about my friends, mostly acquaintances if I am honest, through social media: the annoying details of what they ate for dinner, where they are on vacation, and what they do every hour of the day. For some reason we like to share that information. This information does not concern me as much as the fact that I learn political affiliations, theological convictions and beliefs, dreams, emotions, painful realities, heartbreak and joy via a tweet, status update, picture update. I learn these pieces of information on a computer screen.
I rarely so willingly and vulnerably hear these statements in 'real-life.'
This came to my attention on Wednesday night during the television presidential candidate debate. In the hours that followed the event, it was difficult to discern between status updates of disciples and those who are not a part of the Body
Many people within the Body use social media as a means of expressing opinions, particularly political, via social media. However, is it possible to have honest, loving, dialoging conversations through social media as you embody Christ? If the words we choose to type are not the same words we are willing to speak, we fail those we live with and those we minister to every day.
If social media is the means through which we convey what we are not willing to share in community, then we should fear the repercussions of status updates that may deter those from knowing the Risen Lord, for indeed if such conversations are not within the Body, how much less they are among those who seek.
Perhaps Christian use of social media would make more sense if such conversations were prevalently conveyed authentically, vulnerably, intentionally, and lovingly in 'real-life.' I am not willing to permanently make a statement via social media that I am not willing to address with my Family of disciples who are the hands and feet of the holy, just, loving Lord. By God's grace, I have thus far adhered to this conviction.
Vulnerable community can extend through the use of social media, but surely when we are gathered together, living together, sharing life together, the sharing of our ideas finds greater meaning.
My qualm is not with social media, although thorough discussion regarding reliance is valuable, but those who use it. Actually, I am fearful of Christians who use social media. Indeed, I fear myself even now.
For some reason, social media engenders a willingness to portray thoughts, ideas, emotions, sarcasm, and beliefs, whether well-established or not, that one is not necessarily willing to express through non-social media means. In other words, transparency in 'real-life' and transparency through social media are not aligned.
As one who greatly values discipleship and community, this is deeply troubling. I learn far too much about my friends, mostly acquaintances if I am honest, through social media: the annoying details of what they ate for dinner, where they are on vacation, and what they do every hour of the day. For some reason we like to share that information. This information does not concern me as much as the fact that I learn political affiliations, theological convictions and beliefs, dreams, emotions, painful realities, heartbreak and joy via a tweet, status update, picture update. I learn these pieces of information on a computer screen.
I rarely so willingly and vulnerably hear these statements in 'real-life.'
This came to my attention on Wednesday night during the television presidential candidate debate. In the hours that followed the event, it was difficult to discern between status updates of disciples and those who are not a part of the Body
Many people within the Body use social media as a means of expressing opinions, particularly political, via social media. However, is it possible to have honest, loving, dialoging conversations through social media as you embody Christ? If the words we choose to type are not the same words we are willing to speak, we fail those we live with and those we minister to every day.
If social media is the means through which we convey what we are not willing to share in community, then we should fear the repercussions of status updates that may deter those from knowing the Risen Lord, for indeed if such conversations are not within the Body, how much less they are among those who seek.
Perhaps Christian use of social media would make more sense if such conversations were prevalently conveyed authentically, vulnerably, intentionally, and lovingly in 'real-life.' I am not willing to permanently make a statement via social media that I am not willing to address with my Family of disciples who are the hands and feet of the holy, just, loving Lord. By God's grace, I have thus far adhered to this conviction.
Vulnerable community can extend through the use of social media, but surely when we are gathered together, living together, sharing life together, the sharing of our ideas finds greater meaning.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
A Burden of Brokenness
For fifty minutes three days a week, I sit among a body of over two thousand people. Broken people.
That's our state, our predicament: brokenness. Sin has permeated our being, our thoughts, our actions, and our very existence. Brokenness has many faces. But we have adapted to conceal its presence.
Walk into a room of people and you may not notice brokenness is lurking in the shadows. Earlier this week, three testimonies were shared in chapel; three stories of brokenness: death, failure, insecurity. I was overcome by the brokenness I knew to be concealed behind masks of security and invulnerability among two thousand people who shared similarly unique stories of brokenness.
The weight of the burden of two thousand broken people seems too much to bear at times. Indeed it is too much. Tears crept down my face for quite some time as I contemplated the weight of brokenness in community.
Despite the presence of brokenness, when accepted as reality, it is purposed for mending. It is in the acceptance of brokenness that restoration is possible. So it is with the believer, whose brokenness finds healing by His grace.
The stories of a community expound the burden of brokenness and magnify the significance and power of healing grace, mercy and love.
That's our state, our predicament: brokenness. Sin has permeated our being, our thoughts, our actions, and our very existence. Brokenness has many faces. But we have adapted to conceal its presence.
Walk into a room of people and you may not notice brokenness is lurking in the shadows. Earlier this week, three testimonies were shared in chapel; three stories of brokenness: death, failure, insecurity. I was overcome by the brokenness I knew to be concealed behind masks of security and invulnerability among two thousand people who shared similarly unique stories of brokenness.
The weight of the burden of two thousand broken people seems too much to bear at times. Indeed it is too much. Tears crept down my face for quite some time as I contemplated the weight of brokenness in community.
Despite the presence of brokenness, when accepted as reality, it is purposed for mending. It is in the acceptance of brokenness that restoration is possible. So it is with the believer, whose brokenness finds healing by His grace.
The stories of a community expound the burden of brokenness and magnify the significance and power of healing grace, mercy and love.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
A Story
Stories shape languages, cultures, histories, and evade time. They have meaning, context, lessons, and some contain truth. Love, war, struggle and redemption permeate the stories that are passed on from one to another.
Through the course of living in Christian community, it has become fairly evident how important stories are to the propagation of truth. Scripturally speaking, the Bible not only contains stories but gives us a glimpse of the story - the story that shapes the past, present and future. Relationally, stories open doors, seed compassion, and develop community.
My story is but a miniscule part of that story.
A friend of mine recently told me about a snippet of his story. He said he feared that if he shared this part of his story with others in our community he would be defined by, remembered for, and perhaps judged accordingly based on a singular portion of his story. This, I said, is detrimental to authentic community.
If we choose to leave out, repress, or avoid a portion of a story, the whole meaning of the story cannot be known, the larger context is jeopardized, and it seems selfish. Consciously neglecting part of a story gives more authority than is due to actions, behaviors, words, and thoughts. It is only in the context of the story that these parts find healing redemption.
Vulnerability is not an easy task and should not be taken lightly. Our stories need not be published in memoirs, pronounced via public confession, or flippantly conversed. But in authentic community, our stories must be shared. Bits and pieces at a time, but never consciously abandoned.
This week, I told my friend that it is not the things within our stories that define us. Perhaps they shall at times earthly and societally. But it is not the story in and of itself that defines us. What defines us is the purpose of our stories, part of the story: ultimately to glorify the One from whom the story has come.
I oftentimes neglect authenticity, honesty and vulnerability with myself, let alone others. Sometimes I do not want myself to know my story. It seems easier that way. And then there are times like this week when I realize that it is vital, necessary, and prudent that I live in community with myself, my Lord, and those whom I live with so that I may holistically become a part of the story.
Through the course of living in Christian community, it has become fairly evident how important stories are to the propagation of truth. Scripturally speaking, the Bible not only contains stories but gives us a glimpse of the story - the story that shapes the past, present and future. Relationally, stories open doors, seed compassion, and develop community.
My story is but a miniscule part of that story.
A friend of mine recently told me about a snippet of his story. He said he feared that if he shared this part of his story with others in our community he would be defined by, remembered for, and perhaps judged accordingly based on a singular portion of his story. This, I said, is detrimental to authentic community.
If we choose to leave out, repress, or avoid a portion of a story, the whole meaning of the story cannot be known, the larger context is jeopardized, and it seems selfish. Consciously neglecting part of a story gives more authority than is due to actions, behaviors, words, and thoughts. It is only in the context of the story that these parts find healing redemption.
Vulnerability is not an easy task and should not be taken lightly. Our stories need not be published in memoirs, pronounced via public confession, or flippantly conversed. But in authentic community, our stories must be shared. Bits and pieces at a time, but never consciously abandoned.
This week, I told my friend that it is not the things within our stories that define us. Perhaps they shall at times earthly and societally. But it is not the story in and of itself that defines us. What defines us is the purpose of our stories, part of the story: ultimately to glorify the One from whom the story has come.
I oftentimes neglect authenticity, honesty and vulnerability with myself, let alone others. Sometimes I do not want myself to know my story. It seems easier that way. And then there are times like this week when I realize that it is vital, necessary, and prudent that I live in community with myself, my Lord, and those whom I live with so that I may holistically become a part of the story.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Prideful Humility
I must admit I aspire to greatness - to be someone, to accomplish feats that are praised, to change lives. Perhaps this last greatness is most supreme in my mind. I want to be remembered, to be known, for positively impacting lives. Praise be that I know of this to be a profound weakness - for that is what it is - a hindrance of my ability to worship not myself but my Lord. Indeed it is said I shall lose more and more of myself in order that I might gain the Lord, and so it is, that although I aspire for greatness, I want nothing if not to make Him greater and me lesser. I fear this temptation will always haunt me. Oh may I never be in that place for I fear I would serve myself and not my Master.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
A Reckless Love: A Legacy
Editor's Note: This is the seventh of a reflective series entitled "A Reckless Love."
From time to time, I begin to contemplate what I have done within this realm that I may be remembered when my existence in this place ceases. Personal, professional, academic, or relational aspirations lead me to create that of which I want to be known.
Assuredly, I want to be known by what I was able to do for Christ that changed a life, inspired belief, or challenged disillusioned thinking. It's a trap of accomplishment and task oriented adoration and self-worth. Ultimately, this philosophy creates meaning and purpose through what I do for the Lord; finding significance through and in myself.
What is worse is that I know that this is inherently contrary to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Indeed it is by grace through faith and not the result of works for surely such a salvation would lead to boasting. And yet, these very tasks can be inherently good - altogether beneficial for the teaching, edification, and exhortation of the Body.
It is quite unfortunate that our task-oriented and personal accomplishment driven society publishes and demands accolades for good deeds - and the Church is no exception. However, this misfortune has clearly resulted in the realization that this inadequacy exists. For this I am grateful.
I could be known by what I do for the Lord, those I love, or society as a whole. Or I could be known by the Lord how I live with Him. The latter must become a reality.
For much of the past three months, I have cherished the thoughts of what Josh was able to accomplish during his far too short ministering life. It is with joy, however, that I abandon all of these thoughts for the knowledge and reality that Josh Larkin was and is known by and lives with the Lord, which far surpasses all that he was able to do for the Kingdom. This is remarkable considering all that he was and has been able to do.
There is no legacy adequate enough; there is only the remembrance to be known by and to live with the Lord . A legacy of nothing but Christ, of Him crucified and resurrected, is demanded for His sake and glory.
Legacy has been a reoccurring thought in my mind for two years since the death of my dear friend Janet and the more recent death of Josh. Skye Jethani's "With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God" helped me to finally actualize my thoughts of this eternal concept.
From time to time, I begin to contemplate what I have done within this realm that I may be remembered when my existence in this place ceases. Personal, professional, academic, or relational aspirations lead me to create that of which I want to be known.
Assuredly, I want to be known by what I was able to do for Christ that changed a life, inspired belief, or challenged disillusioned thinking. It's a trap of accomplishment and task oriented adoration and self-worth. Ultimately, this philosophy creates meaning and purpose through what I do for the Lord; finding significance through and in myself.
What is worse is that I know that this is inherently contrary to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Indeed it is by grace through faith and not the result of works for surely such a salvation would lead to boasting. And yet, these very tasks can be inherently good - altogether beneficial for the teaching, edification, and exhortation of the Body.
It is quite unfortunate that our task-oriented and personal accomplishment driven society publishes and demands accolades for good deeds - and the Church is no exception. However, this misfortune has clearly resulted in the realization that this inadequacy exists. For this I am grateful.
I could be known by what I do for the Lord, those I love, or society as a whole. Or I could be known by the Lord how I live with Him. The latter must become a reality.
For much of the past three months, I have cherished the thoughts of what Josh was able to accomplish during his far too short ministering life. It is with joy, however, that I abandon all of these thoughts for the knowledge and reality that Josh Larkin was and is known by and lives with the Lord, which far surpasses all that he was able to do for the Kingdom. This is remarkable considering all that he was and has been able to do.
There is no legacy adequate enough; there is only the remembrance to be known by and to live with the Lord . A legacy of nothing but Christ, of Him crucified and resurrected, is demanded for His sake and glory.
Legacy has been a reoccurring thought in my mind for two years since the death of my dear friend Janet and the more recent death of Josh. Skye Jethani's "With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God" helped me to finally actualize my thoughts of this eternal concept.
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