The Beauty of Grief

Last night, there was a full moon amidst ominous clouds and a slight breeze. It was just another night like so many before it. However, my perspective was different than most nights. Like in all things, one's perspective worldview determines the values, attitudes, and beliefs about the simplicity of life.

And so, after time reading the word, praying, and singing hymns, I simply sat outside. Alone. Very alone. My perspective enabled me to see that in the scheme of this life, I was alone and will be alone. Family, friends, strangers, and those gone before me, cannot be with me in a value that permits me to be not alone. In other words, no matter what, I will be alone because people will fail me and the walk of life ends alone.

At face value, this sounds like a downer, but it's not. To me, this is joy: that I recognize that I am alone so that I must be dependent on the One who loved me and provides grace and mercy to love me still for eternity being humble before His throne. I am very alone and by being alone I have a great sense of belonging.

The past week of my life has been grievous with much reflection, sharing, mourning, and laughter. I have realized that I am alone throughout this week - no one else can know what or how I feel, no one can offer assurance of hope, and no one can comfort me completely.

The beauty of grief is that because I recognize that I am alone, I have been dependent on God for comfort, assurance, and hope. Revealed through nature, through loved ones, and through His word, God provides avenues for the beauty of grief to be realized. Our dependence on Him alone brings strength, hope, and joy amidst sorrow, grief, and pain.

Before the throne, in a state of grief, there is joy in being humble enough to be completely dependent and have a perspective that encourages growth. When we are at our lowest, is that not when Christ is glorified the most and our weaknesses become our strength?

There is beauty in grief - there is joy, hope, assurance, and ultimately salvation in dependence on Christ. I pray that I may delight in my grief and that my joy may be found in my lonely dependence on Christ.