Editor's Note: This is the sixth of a reflective series entitled "A Reckless Love."
Josh quickly became an intentional, meaningful, challenging, and caring friend. We only really knew each other for seven months. A miniscule amount of time in eternity.
From day one of those seven months though, we both were intentional to share life together. One night this winter before going to bed, I left a note on Josh's desk. I remember searching for a scrap piece of paper to leave a few words of encouragement.
He may have intentionally sought meaningful relationships, but he rarely purposefully organized his desk. Sometimes the means do not matter. I found a receipt; it was sufficient.
I do not recall my exact words, but the message written on the back of a nasty Taco Bell receipt was along the lines: "what you did today matters - and He is proud of you - and I am so honored to be a part of what He is doing in your life - praying for you tonight."
Seven months. Certainly a short time. But a time that matters.
It reminds me of Jesus' incarnated time of ministry. Sometimes I think I imagine Jesus came out of the womb and began preaching. Historically, of course, we know that not to be true. His time of ministry was maybe a few years. A relatively short time in eternity.
Jesus commanded us to love as He loved us. An indisputably intentional, eternally existing love. Whether I knew Josh Larkin for seven months, seven years, or seven decades, he changed my life because he recognized that love requires intentionality.
Since April 4, I have been more intentional with the men of Sammy II and those I love. If it was not for those seven months with Josh, I do not know if I could thoughtfully love others amidst his death and that of two additional students within the past seven months.
Seven months may be miniscule in the scheme of eternity, but it is all the time the Lord needed to impress a profound example of reckless love in my life.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Monday, June 4, 2012
A Reckless Love: Righteous Anger
Editor's Note: This is the fifth of a reflective series entitled "A Reckless Love."
I am rarely legitimately angry. I think I have been conditioned to be this way. Molded to believe that anger is inappropriate, unnecessary, and maybe even sinful.
It is hard to conjure memories of Josh when he was angry. With only eight months of a close, intimate friendship, there are only a few moments I remember him angry. Usually, his anger was due to some social injustice or maltreatment of someone he knew.
As I have grieved the death of my dear friend for two months to the day, there have been several moments that I have been quite angry. Angry at Josh for his senselessness that has resulted in immense pain for those he and I love. Angry with people for moments of insensitivity and disrespect. Angry at the Lord for permitting Josh's death in such a manner, in such a place. Angry for the pain of the men with whom I have shared many tears. Angry at myself for not and perhaps being unable to do anything, to help anyone, to worship amidst suffering.
Unfortunately, the list continues.
From what I know of the Lord, He too is angry; at the presence of sin, with faithlessness, on behalf of others, and on and on. He is angry because He loves us.
I would not be angry had I not deeply loved Josh Larkin.
For some time, I believed my anger to be unnecessary and maybe sinful. Has not the Lord promised victory? Have I not experienced His works? What shall I therefore be angry about in His presence? It is true that the Lord has promised and accomplished victory. It is also true that I am angry. I shall not dismiss one truth with another.
A very real danger exists that anger may lead to sinfulness, yet I pray that my anger continues to lead me to broken humility, that I may be molded and shaped by the righteous anger of the Lord leading to love.
I know now why Josh was angry amidst the presence of social injustices, hurtful gossip, intimidation, and persecution of others through words or deed. He was angry because he recklessly loved.
I am rarely legitimately angry. I think I have been conditioned to be this way. Molded to believe that anger is inappropriate, unnecessary, and maybe even sinful.
It is hard to conjure memories of Josh when he was angry. With only eight months of a close, intimate friendship, there are only a few moments I remember him angry. Usually, his anger was due to some social injustice or maltreatment of someone he knew.
As I have grieved the death of my dear friend for two months to the day, there have been several moments that I have been quite angry. Angry at Josh for his senselessness that has resulted in immense pain for those he and I love. Angry with people for moments of insensitivity and disrespect. Angry at the Lord for permitting Josh's death in such a manner, in such a place. Angry for the pain of the men with whom I have shared many tears. Angry at myself for not and perhaps being unable to do anything, to help anyone, to worship amidst suffering.
Unfortunately, the list continues.
From what I know of the Lord, He too is angry; at the presence of sin, with faithlessness, on behalf of others, and on and on. He is angry because He loves us.
I would not be angry had I not deeply loved Josh Larkin.
For some time, I believed my anger to be unnecessary and maybe sinful. Has not the Lord promised victory? Have I not experienced His works? What shall I therefore be angry about in His presence? It is true that the Lord has promised and accomplished victory. It is also true that I am angry. I shall not dismiss one truth with another.
A very real danger exists that anger may lead to sinfulness, yet I pray that my anger continues to lead me to broken humility, that I may be molded and shaped by the righteous anger of the Lord leading to love.
I know now why Josh was angry amidst the presence of social injustices, hurtful gossip, intimidation, and persecution of others through words or deed. He was angry because he recklessly loved.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)