Thirty days ago, I said goodnight to my floormate Josh as I stumbled somewhat incoherently from the restroom back to my humble abode in Samuel Morris Hall.
The next day, I went about business as usual. I awoke before 7a.m., was at work by 8a.m., went to chapel at 10a.m., and class at 11a.m. I packed up my belongings to head home for Easter and as I stumbled with my bags down the hall, I made it only a few feet before stopping at room 234.
Room 234: Josh's room. My room. It's been thirty days of stumbling.
I wanted to say goodbye. At least leave a note if he was not there. The door was locked. Strange though it be, I did not stop to ponder. I picked up my bags and headed home.
Five hours later, I received a phone call from a colleague informing me that Josh had died in room 234. Shock, disbelief, anger, sadness. I could not and at times cannot yet distinguish my emotions.
The details no longer seem relevant. My friend is gone. Yet I have been blessed to continue to experience his reckless love during the past thirty days.
A year ago, my roommate and I decided to change residence halls because we knew one person on the floor: Josh. We decided to live across the hall from him and quickly began to establish a meaningful friendship and brotherhood. Now, we reside in his room.
My roommate and I moved into Josh's room a week after his death. The room has become a place of joy. The Spirit of the Lord has blessed the fellowship, laughter, tears, and anxiety my floormates have shared together in the place where we all remember Josh's smile, singing, hair, love, and worship to God.
Many days, I am still stumbling. I read, study, and try to sleep in the place of so many memories and unfortunately one of a tragic demise. Josh would be jealous of all the wonderful conversations held in this place during the past thirty days: late night words of encouragement, tears, hugs, very little studying (in his true nature), plenty of comfort food eating, and especially prayers.
Right before I went to bed the first night living in room 234, a friend reminded me of this promise: "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." - Zephaniah 3:17
Come on a stumbling journey with me. Let me share with you the reckless love of my Lord as lived by friend Josh Larkin. Together, we will see that the Lord has been in this place.
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